(Un)happy Mother’s Day
To begin with, Al Mohler has a great word about Mother’s Day. I would recommend you at least skim his article. It isn’t hard to get the gist of it. But I had some Mother’s Day thoughts that bug the mess out of me, and I simply wanted to share it here to get it off my chest.
Yesterday was a bad day. To start with, my mother and I are not on good terms. Long story, so let’s just leave it at that. But, being happy/mushy/sentimental was not in store for the day. Then, we get to church and one of our youth asks us to pray for her voice teacher, who just miscarried this week. That made me think of a colleague of my wife, who just miscarried twins a month or so ago. Then, as we sat in church, we quickly realized that my wife is the only adult female in our church who is not a mother. Next to us sat the mother of one of our youth who cried almost the entire service–she just lost her mother a couple months ago. I wondered about those women who desperately want to be mothers, but are physically unable to do so. I bet yesterday was miserable for them. My heart hurts for them.
But, we sang wonderful songs (with bad theology) about how great mothers are and how well our mother’s did at giving us Christian homes. We heard a sermon about how great mother’s are. It was real swell. We had baby dedication on Mother’s Day, in a church that supposedly affirms complementary gender roles. Shouldn’t we do this on Father’s Day if we really believe the father to be the head of the home?
It was all so trite. I would like to say that hurting people are few, but as I sat there with the church, it didn’t take me long to realize that there are a significant number of hurting people on Mother’s Day. I haven’t even mentioned all the single moms in this world. They may not be hurting for sentimentality, but they are certainly hurting for more than a cheap flower and a pat on the back. What about those pitiful excuses for mothers? We don’t like to admit it, but there are a few. Should we pat them on the back for how well they’ve done, or should we call them to repent and encourage them to embrace their huge responsibility?
I know the Church in America does a lot of junk without thinking it through. I’ve been part of the problem. But for all the people who are hurting on Mother’s Day, let me offer this word of apology. We’re sorry for overlooking the plight of women who have wayward children, have miscarried, can’t get pregnant or are getting older and are still single. I know days like yesterday suck, and we don’t make it any easier. We’re sorry for people who have bad mothers, bad relationships with their mothers, or their mothers have passed away. Again, days like yesterday suck, and you get overlooked. For the single moms who need more than sermon and a carnation, we’re sorry for not helping you with your struggles (and we repudiate the words of Ann Coulter). We’re sorry for our hypocrisy in making a big deal over complementarianism, then succumbing to the culture and dedicating families on Mother’s Day.
And for all the women who don’t fit into these categories, and yesterday was a great day to feel warm and sentimental, find a woman who’s struggling and love on her.
it is completely random that i am reading your blog…but my baby is sleeping and i actually had free time! i remember mothers day last year (2008)….we were just starting the process of trying to get pregnant and i was just coming to grips with our fertility issues. God is good though and through our docs and some meds He brought us little Camden Lane this past September……i am so looking forward to my first mothers day with my little guy, but i will never forget the heartache of wanting for what seemed impossible…
Comment by Kristen | November 18, 2009