How I feel about church (for the moment)
I’ve been struggling with this since about 1 o’clock this morning. It’s 6:30 now. Yes, for nearly five and a half hours I’ve been sitting here, staring out into the darkness, wrestling with the place Courtney and I go to worship. We decided on this church (which shall remain nameless) together at the beginning of the year after my job as youth pastor of another church fizzled-out. We had tried several churches, and we felt this church was the “best” (of course, being in a SBC seminary, we could only choose between SBC churches). Now, we are both hoping that’s not true.
Anyway, I’ve really been wondering some things about church. Seriously, where did the standard, Baptist presentation of worship (that phrase is specifically chosen) come from? Go to almost any Baptist church, and you get 1) Greeting/Announcement, 2) Three Worship Songs–4 in a “contemporary” setting, 3) Offering (often with a solo singer), 4) Message–THE central part of the whole thing, 5) invitation, 6) song to dismiss. In some cases, #’s 3 and 4 might be switched. And, depending on the church, you WILL be done in 1 hour or 1.5 hours. Period. Every week, identical. Every [Baptist] church, you can count on this.
Secondly, Sunday School. Oh wait….Adult Bible Fellowship. Sounds so much better. I was fortunate to learn where this concept comes from recently. With the rise of industrialization, Sunday Schools popped up to teach poorer children the Bible, discipline and values. It was a ministry, reaching out into the community. At my church, it is a chance for seminary students to flex their muscles. If I hear the definition of “agape” one more time I might scream. Bottom line, what was once a ministry to working-class, time-restrained people has become a bastion of futility–for the most part.
Overall, sterility is the word. We can go to church, spend our hour and a half in “worship” and our hour and a half in Sunday School…*ahem,* Adult Bible Fellowship, hear “exposition” of two passages of Scripture (which is another rant all in itself), sing our 4–give or take–worship songs, and walk out feeling nothing more than tired.
This morning, as I was unlocking the gate to the subdivision I guard on the weekends, I was attacked. All of a sudden, I realized my idolatrous thinking about God. I sometimes picture God as a big man, off in the distance, who sees everything and is super-smart. This morning, for some reason, while unlocking a big, metal, cattle gate, it hit me. The knowledge that God is spirit (not a man), everywhere (not off in the distance), all-powerful, all-knowing (not just really smart) and so on and so forth really hit me. Words can’t describe what the realization was like. However, I almost fell to my knees, overcome with this crazy sense of wonder. Unlocking a gate. After all I’ve just whined about, my entire point is that 8 months of attending this church have yet to produce the sense of awe and wonder of God that I had while unlocking a gate. I am saddened that I’m looking forward to working 3rd shift security next weekend more than I am church this morning.
Change begins with you. Can you worship God in all you do in spite of the awful experience you have each Sunday morning? If others see you authentically worshiping, perhaps their flames will be ingnited as well. God is everywhere, even in the monotonous church setting. God has treasures awaiting us if only we will look with fresh insight. Perhaps your feelings are a calling from God to first, change your heart towards his church, and second, make an impact by your actions and voice, by your prayer, in your own church.
Some things to think about, many people need routine to feel comfortable hence the “standard presentation of worship,” the seminary students need an audience that is willing to listen as they learn how to speak effectively, church is not a place just to be serviced and fed, but is a place to serve one another and to worship despite our differences in style, gifts, and vision.
In His Love,
amanda
Comment by hiddenart | August 12, 2007
Alan,
You’ve asked some very good questions. There are many people asking questions about the modern organizations and structures that we call “church”. Keep asking questions and keep responding as God answers them.
-Alan
Comment by Alan Knox | August 13, 2007
Amanda,
Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for your comments. I completely agree that the local community is to be a place of service and feeding as well as being serviced and fed. I think the problem I see mostly is not poor leadership/communication/musical performance/etc. It’s the sterility and haughtiness of too much of it. But, I agree that my heart certainly needs to change and I can only pray that that I make an impact in some way. I think my biggest struggle is the balance between finding a worshiping community that “works” (or whatever a more appropriate word may be) and not being a consumer of spiritual goods.
Alan,
Thanks for your comments. I read your post “Church First,” and I think the quote about methodology and techniques being elevated to god-level (probably at least idolatry) is true. I don’t want to “deconstruct” (good postmodern word) everything we do. But, the questions of why we do what we do and the true level of effectiveness of our ministries are coming to concern me more and more.
Comment by alanreynolds | August 13, 2007
[...] about church After my whiny little rant the other day (which did actually have some small positive purpose), Alan Knox posted a list of [...]
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